I Wonder As I Wander...

I'm listening to Christmas music right now. My old co-worker and desk-sharer Jason could tell you that I enjoy it more than your average person. I would love when the crappy easy-listening station at work would start playing Christmas music around this time of year. I don't think they even waited until after Thanksgiving. I'm not sure why I love it so much. I certainly don't listen to it for the religious meaning. I enjoy the holiday for the pure joy of giving to others. Everyone seems to take a moment out of their busy lives and enjoy being with each other, and if religion is the original reason, then I applaud it. I just think Christmas music reminds me of such a pleasant time of the year and of the many happy memories I have had through the years. Dean Martin crooning takes me back to my mom and dad's kitchen, warm from Mom's baking turkey and pies, filled with inevitable laughter from one of Dad's jokes.

This year is completely different for me, in a good way. I really feel like a child again. I know this year I will not have to deal with drama from my in-laws like we did last year and all the years before. I sometimes wonder if they know the true cost of their spite and selfishness and how grateful I am for it. I am truly enjoying the holidays for the first time in nearly ten years. I am looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas like when I was a kid. It's an amazing feeling. I am so excited!

I just got back from the store where I bought ornaments (unbreakable, of course), lights, wrapping paper, and evergreen garland. Yes, it's a bit early, but I feel lighter. I feel like a weight has been lifted and in its place a wonderful, bright-eyed child has been placed. Katie makes me excited, even if she herself can't truly understand what everything means yet. She looks at the lights and the trees and says "Ooooh" with her curled lips and I just melt.

Fair-Weather Drummer?

When I first met my husband, he was the drummer for a punk band. He left the band for numerous reasons, none of which the founding members were mature enough to accept. A lack of loyalty never played into the equation. That band would mutate over the years, but maturity and dignity obviously eludes his one-time band members. I just located this blurb on their current MySpace page:

"Founding members [X] and [X] have always worked together to create music and lyrics that make a statement. Grab the listener's attention, make a visceral connection, and never let go. While the two weathered a rotating cast of fair-weather drummers and bassists over the first few years, [my italics] they still managed to release a solid, if unrefined EP and tour extensively as a young band just learning the ropes."

Fair-weather drummer? I guess "fair-weather" means to me that he would quit the band to eventually become a wonderful husband, father, and co-worker who is liked by everyone and who truly is a talented musician. If you're a pompous self-absorbed ass, it means something different. Dan's definition? "I only play the drums when it's sunny." (He obviously takes insults better than I do.)

Somehow "grabbing the listener's attention" is a talent that has been gravely exaggerated also. What about the shows where the kids walked out because of your shitty lyrics, absurd guitar solos, and lack of stage presence?

It's really a shame. I thought you guys would have grown through the years.

Loser Said What?

An old co-worker emailed me recently and said that she read this blog and didn't realize I hated work so much. I thought about it and couldn't really remember to what she would be referring. I hated it? Have I been out of work so long I can't remember if I hated it or not? Perhaps my carefree workless days have clouded my mind with grand visions of ample pay, rainbow skies, and personal fulfillment.

In other news...
I have been spending a lot of time on MySpace lately. My friend Val told me that it's addictive and I laughed it off, but now I'm itchy and I need it. Personally I think it's mean to do such a thing as introduce me to something so powerful. At least heroin would help me be skinny. MySpace makes me feel old and dirty, and not in a good way.