January 25, 2006

It's Official

I'm late.

On TV, that means so much. It's always nice and dramatic. Jack's wife even pulled it on Lost last week. Too bad it means squat for me.


No Guns Left Behind Corner (aka Bitch-o-ny Corner)

Okay, so here's the deal. My best friend at work, Jason, sits right next to Bethany, the most annoying kid in the world. I really, reeeeally like talking to him, but everytime I do, she annoys me by making some lame-ass comment about something. So I really think maybe I shouldn't talk to him because I know in time I am bound to make a rude and insulting comment from the built-up annoyance I have and then no one will have my back. I've seen it a million times on America's Next Top Model.

Anyway, today she annoyed me for two reasons:

1. Jason and I were talking and he was talking about someone talking to a 3-month old on the PHONE and she said, "Well, it's a known fact that babies of that age can recognize voices." WHO THE FUCK CARES? The point isn't that she's full of useless comments. Sure, she may have a photographic memory for all I know, but I don't want useless facts thrown into my conversations. Sometimes I want to talk about Jack's hair on Lost without her mentioning the philosophical aspects of John Locke. Grrrrr.

2. When I commented about waiting in line for 1 cent stamps, she said condescendingly, "Doesn't your post office have a stamp machine? You wouldn't have had to wait in line." WOULD I STAND IN LINE IF THE POST OFFICE HAD A MACHINE? AM I AN IDIOT? Now I officially hate her. I was reserving that emotion for when my blood boiled and at 8:19 AM this morning my blood could have cooked a hot dog.

1 comment:

Jason Hughes said...

Thanks for the laughs!

I have a new game we can play: Count the number of useless facts you hear Bitch-annoyspout in the course of the day--whoever has the highest total at the end of the day gets a "Get Out of OT Free" card... you game?