Maybe I Could Sue for the Cost of My Contacts

I recently got contacts. I guess all the years of editing small text obviously caught up to me. It's funny how we put off something as important as sight. Or maybe that's just me.

I was at Barnes and Noble the other day checking out the bestsellers. When I saw Oprah describing Cormac McCarthy's novel The Road, I thought it sounded familiar. As it turns out, I worked on it last year. I remember complaining, cursing, and questioning how such a piece of crap could even get published.

"If THIS could get published, my book surely has a chance!" I scoffed.

My lack of knowledge about a future bestseller means one of two things: I have no sense of talent or it really is crap. At the time I quoted my grandmother who's usual (and ususally delusional) quote is "Whoever told them that they could _____?" You could fill in the blank with anything that requires talent: write, dance, sing, etc. The last "talentless" artist I heard that sentence about was Jordin Sparks. (Obviously the millions of people who voted for her don't count.)

My dislike of The Road is probably because I remember the poorly typed manuscript ("Who the hell even owns a typewriter anymore?" I recall saying), numerous (and probably unnecessary) space breaks, and lack of punctuation (Miss Gallagher from 8th grade would never have published it). I guess if you're an accomplished writer, you could get away with such things. Or maybe we should all just stop using apostrophes and quotes.

Dont even get me started, i said.

To top it all off, Dan reminded me at the end of my rant that, although I helped that book become a book, I will never make money from it. Maybe I could at least sue for the cost of my contacts.