May 10, 2006

Thoughts of the Day

1. A little while ago I sneezed, then immediately turned to the girl next to me and said “Bless you!” Sometimes I think my IQ dips down to 50 or so.

2. If you think someone is mad at you, don’t call them up and say, “I believe we’ve hit an impasse.” Someone did this to me and I thought that phrase was too funny to consider anything else he had to say.

3. When you’re arguing with someone (especially if you’re over 13 years old), don’t respond to their comment by simply mumbling sounds with an attitude. For example:

Me: “I’m just trying to make things better for your mother and my husband.”
Her: “Aiiiiuuugggggh.”
Me: “You know, I’ve really just got two words for you...”

Sadly, it’s a real-life example. (I actually said three words to her because I just had to use her name for emphasis before hanging up on her.)


terriamachine said...

And thus you've discovered my diabolical plan... to pretend to be serious when I'm really being funny. I know humor is your weak point, and since it's by far my strongest point, I thought it would be best to diffuse the situation with some well-timed unfunniness, disarming you and rendering you powerless while I, with my newfound hand, wielded it to my utmost advantage. They don't call me Tom Funny-when-he's-not-trying-to-be-and-even-when-he's-trying-to-be-he-isn't Hughes for nothing...

And might I point out as a casual aside: Damn, you've got some memory on you...

Kelly said...

You know, I was going to put a disclaimer at the end of my post that said something like, "Tom, if you happen to read this, I'm mostly kidding."

...but I figured you'd never be able to rescue yourself from the torturous halls of the high school long enough to comment here.

One thing I did learn by your comment, though: you have a self-proclaimed sense of humor. I'll take your word for it since I've never witnessed it for myself. Your sense of humor must be the Sasquatch of the witty world...rarely seen by humans. ;)