1. A little while ago I sneezed, then immediately turned to the girl next to me and said “Bless you!” Sometimes I think my IQ dips down to 50 or so.
2. If you think someone is mad at you, don’t call them up and say, “I believe we’ve hit an impasse.” Someone did this to me and I thought that phrase was too funny to consider anything else he had to say.
3. When you’re arguing with someone (especially if you’re over 13 years old), don’t respond to their comment by simply mumbling sounds with an attitude. For example:
Me: “I’m just trying to make things better for your mother and my husband.”
Me: “You know, I’ve really just got two words for you...”
Sadly, it’s a real-life example. (I actually said three words to her because I just had to use her name for emphasis before hanging up on her.)