July 10, 2006

What I Had for Lunch

I had an upsetting dream last night and it may be because of a previous post. Perhaps I've stirred up something that I had successfully banished to the inner recesses of my subconscious. That's the place where I send a lot of my troubling thoughts, like a hostage to a dingy basement. I send them there with a humph! and then I don't have to deal with them until they sneak into my conscious when I am sleeping and defenseless.

Perhaps I have unleashed a monster by posting what I thought to be resolved issues. I really thought that my hatred had been somehow dealt with (okay, okay, maybe I just managed to move it to another, less revealing location). But could it be that I still harbor all those feelings? I even mentioned how I don't think about her...which is true...but my anger has managed to slip into my dreams and I simply don't like it. So the thoughts I don't have consciously are just hiding behind the corners of my mind, waiting to spring at me and scare me like a cheap Hollywood horror flick? (Although Moulin Rouge was pretty damn scary. Who wears that much makeup if he isn't going to kill you?)

Of course, as you all know, there's not much we could do about what we dream about. If that were the case, I would be dreaming about Christian Bale and daisies and sex and chocolate cake, although maybe not all at the same time. (But at the same time does sound interesting. Hmmmm...)

I guess I'll have to go back to writing about useless, emotionless topics like what I had for lunch. :)

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