September 08, 2007

Inner Thoughts of a Time-Waster

Hello there, my fellow time-wasters! I have actually joined the likes of you and got cable internet, so I plan on writing a lot more now. My time is still limited by a child, home, life, etc., so it won't be all the time (I won't get all Perez Hilton on your asses), but I will write more often. That should please one or two people in the world.

I have had so many ideas for entries, but when it comes to actually sitting down and typing them out, I seem to fall short. I used to feel more connected to the Internet world. I used to feel like I had some sort of audience, whether it be friends or strangers, but I have to tell you that I now feel like no one will really see this and no one will care when they do. That will makes for an interesting canvas because you can write what you want pr will totally leave you unmotivated because what's the point in writing when you don't have an audience who can appreciate it? And I guess I agree with the latter right now because I feel like there's no sense putting my ideas out there like I did before...

I posted heartfelt, brutally honest shit on an old webpage of mine, but the people I was discussing as part of my inner thoughts found it. The short opinion comments were blown WAY out of proportion and have been used against me ever since. I didn't really care that they saw my honest thoughts, but I got aggravated and frustrated at having to defend them. (I'd never make it as a presidential candidate.) So I ended up deleting the whole page and coming here, a la Internet protection program.

So maybe that experience left a bad taste in my mouth. At the time people were asking me, "It's the INTERNET. Didn't you realize your page and all your comments could be found?!" The answer was yes. And although it didn't make sense, I wanted those negative thoughts to be found because I wanted to hurt the people to which I was referring. I know, it's completely passive aggressive, but it actually worked. I guess it was easier to find my page than my common sense even thought. I'm not about hurting anyone now, but I do sometimes like to write my feelings. And if that includes hating someone, I guess my honesty will have to hide out with the rest of my feelings.

I have several issues (perhaps a bad word for them) that I could regularly write about:

My child. Who wants to read about that, though? I mean occasionally it's probably somewhat amusing, but it gets annoying quickly. I try to spare as many people as I can from the "guess what Katelyn did this week?" excitement in which me and my husband could only relish.

My therapy/my in-laws. Okay, so this topic is definately more interesting, but it's kind of a moot point right now. I haven't seen my in-laws in nearly a year. They've managed to aggravate me during the past year, but not directly for the most part. "My" therapy is actually "our" therapy and basically for my husband to come to terms with his family, although our doc does think I am suffering from extreme stress because of the fear of coming in contact with my in-laws. I don't feel stressed. (More to come about that in a later post.)

My exciting day. And I am being sarcastic with the adjective. Do you really want to read about my day? Peek-a-boo, planning dinner, eating lunch. Wow.

So when I think all of this, I tend not to write. But yet I find other people's posts entertaining, so maybe I am being too critical. Besides, I'm sure all of my "issues" in moderation would be fine. And there is always the "next" or "back" buttons if you don't like this blog.

Although I hope you stay.

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