I heard a theory years ago that said that we connect to people based on our past relationships in our past lives. If we hated someone in a past life, we are likely to clash with them in some form in this life. That dislike even explains how you could meet someone and instantly not like them even before you say a word to each other. The same goes for the ones we love, I imagine. Sometimes the hardest part of love is convincing yourself that your heart can be trusted.
I went out on a date with a guy in college without realizing it was a date. (I was a bit naive, okay?) We had met in a play we were doing and he and I connected, although I was never interested in him. After the play closed, he asked me if I'd like to get dinner sometime. (I know, that's a classic date, but I was naive, I tell you!) I was dating Dan at the time, but I didn't think anything of meeting Play Guy just as friends.
I walked to the restaurant and met him inside. I soon began to realize that although it had been easy to talk to him during play practice, our longer conversation was just too deep for me. He was a member of a Honors Fraternity and was very intellectual. He seemed to have a technical way of looking at everything. Humor eluded him when he'd get on a subject in which he was really interested. With Dan, every conversation I had ever had was just the right amount of intellect and levity without even trying.
As the night went on and we enjoyed some drinks, he started smiling at me and looking at me without speaking. Suddenly he asked me if a ring I was wearing on my left ring finger was an engagement ring.
"No," I said with a chuckle. "It's a garnet ring from my dad."
"Oh, thank god! You had me thinking you and Dan were engaged for a moment there."
"No, no," I said.
[Enter awkward silence here.]
"But you and Dan aren't serious, are you?"
"Well, we're not engaged, but it's serious," I explained.
"Then why are you here with me?"
He had a point, now that I think about it.
Luckily, he let the subject die. We continued to talk about various things--most of which were uninteresting to me--and then for some strange reason I mentioned my fine appreciation of the 60's band, The Monkees.
"You like The Monkees?" He was beyond ecstatic. "Did you ever see Head?"
I hadn't seen that movie, although I knew what he was talking about. I couldn't believe someone so intellectual could appreciate something so...stoned and drugged out and shriek with excitement about it, too. He went on and on and perhaps it was his beer that made him seem like far too much of a Head fan, but I realized that it didn't matter what he was talking about. I certainly didn't want to be with him and I regretted wasting an evening that I could have spent with Dan.
He said he would walk me home and we headed down the street towards my apartment. I stopped at a nearby corner so he didn't get yet another wrong idea about the night.
"Kelly, I'm in love with you."
"No, I'm serious. I know you said you're with Dan and I respect that, but you're the kind of girl I'm looking for. I think you should stop dating him and be with me."
This was the kind of stuff that only happens in movies, yet I was standing on College Ave. wondering how I could have two guys interested in me at the same time when for years and years before I had had none.
Needless to say, I didn't choose Play Guy. I went home and called Dan and we laughed about my evening. Yes, he knew I was going out with another guy, but he later told me he didn't want to seem possessive and tell me not to go.
I asked him why he wasn't afraid I would be interested in the other guy and he simply said, "Because I love you, Kel." And he was 100% right.