January 15, 2008

Pole Dancing 101

During my hiatus, I learned two things about myself while visiting a local playground:

I could never make it as a stripper.
I am not as agile as when I was eight.

Now I'll admit that I have seen strippers "dancing" on poles. They twist their bodies around the pole, sometimes head over heels (literally, HEELS!), all the while making it look easy and surprisingly graceful. And I'll also admit I have secretly thought, "Hey, I could do that!"

But now I have a big black-and-blue mark on my knee that proves that I can't even slide down a pole like a fire fighter. Forget anything graceful or sexy. I can't slide, let alone contort my body around it. Somehow I forgot to keep my legs wrapped around it or something because I basically fell the couple of feet to the ground banging my knee at the bottom for added hurrah. So since my knee is killing me and I am now positive I'd make the world's lousiest pole dancer, I'm not going to try any contorting around a pole anytime soon. I give strippers and eight-year-olds a lot of credit. At least they both decided to stay home from the playground that day.


Paige Jennifer said...

The last time I tried to do a push up (girly push up no less) I face planted on my living room rug. Which reminds me, I need to vacuum. My point? We clearly are related.

PS: I'm still laughing (at not with you).

Jason Hughes said...


No Jamie Lee Curtis, I guess...

It's all good, though--you have more funny in your bone than most do in their lifetime...

Unlike Paige, though, I think I'm a teensy bit laughing at you... :D

Glenn said...

Does anyone else find it funny that pole dancing has become a respected form of expression? I smell an American Idol spin-off.

Glenn said...

LOL! "spin-off"

Kel said...

Paige: See? That's why I like to avoid any kind of exercise. You can get hurt!

Jay: Thanks for complimenting me and then laughing at me. I could always count on you.

Glenn: Spin-off..hahaha. Like I said, no spinning for me. Just falling.

And my knee is now fine, thanks for (no one) asking!!! :)