May 17, 2006

Two Blue Lines

Did you ever have something go so well, it actually scared you?

I went for my 18-week ultrasound last week and they didn't find any abnormalities. Now don't get me wrong. I'm excited and happy, but I also found after it that I'm scared more now than before. How could that be? At this point I should be totally relieved and free of concern, right?

It's a weird feeling. I guess I feel this way for several reasons: Mainly (Dan came up with this one) I feel scared because I'm farther along than I've ever been. I lost my first pregnancy at 16 weeks and now I'm three weeks beyond that. It also looks like it will really happen. I also know now that I have a little person to care about and that all the worries that I've been supressing are now coming out.

It's funny, but I actually feel like I'm pregnant now. It's as though I just saw the extra blue line on the home pregnancy test for the first time.

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