Beeping at the Honey in Front of You With the Light Eyes...

"...she turn around to see what you beeping at; it's like the summer's a natural aphrodisiac." Classic Will Smith.

Okay, I don't get it: why do guys beep their car horns at girls? Do they actually think they will get somewhere by doing that? I just had two different guys beep at me and one who held up traffic to make sure I saw him looking at me. Since it's such a nice day out today, I opened my sunroof and put down my window when I went out for lunch, so maybe that's some kind of "flirt with me" sign. What do you think they're thinking as they speed away at 70 mph? Am I supposed to chase them down, just so I could smile at them or something?

I wonder what they would do if I didn't wear a shirt...

Buffalo Penis Envy

We got on a conversation here at work about the buffalo nickel and how it was discontinued because people protested the buffalo penis engraved into the picture. I don't know how true that is, but it's funny. I find it fascinating that people are appalled or infatuated with other people's body parts. I mean, every sex basically has the same parts, but men horde copies of Playboy like they found gold. I could have told them she'd have two of this and one of that...

My grandmother once bought a can of air freshener because it had a penis on it. Supposedly a guy at the plant where it was made inserted his penis into the photo for the can. She heard about it on the news and then searched every store until she found one. She proudly would show it to everyone, telling us that you could see a guy's "jigger" on it. (Adds new meaning to Mountain Fresh, eh?) It looked like a finger to me, but that's beside the point. I don't know what's more disturbing: my grandmother intentionally bought an air freshener with a penis on it because she thought it would be worth money or the fact that after nine children she can't say the word penis.

Or maybe it's because she uses the word jigger, which is just wrong.

Lay Low, Homey...

Okay, so the subject line is a really lame Kanye West reference, in a weird rhyming way. Just humor me and go with it.

I thought I should check in, although I honestly don't know what to write about. There's been so much going on lately and my brain is clouded with too many thoughts to single one out and exploit it here. But I guess I'll try. Here's a few of my more common thoughts of the day:

Everything is going okay with the p-word. I still can't believe it. I went to the doctor yesterday and heard the heartbeat. The baby is growing and things seem normal. They don't even want to see me for four weeks. I think I'm overdosing on Frosted Cheerios.

I hate Bethany. Nothing new there. This morning as I was just getting to work she got a job we're both scheduled to work on, dramatically came over to my desk, looked through it, then left without saying a word. Now while I appreciate that she isn't talking to me, I realized later why she dropped it off. It needed to be divided. I was pissed. And here's the part that shows that I am a nicer person than people give me credit for: I didn't say anything to her.