December 25, 2006

The Gift

Merry Christmas, everyone! I wish you all a very happy new year, too. And just for the record, I see nothing wrong with "Happy Holidays." So, Happy Everything.

I have received the best Christmas present I will ever receive: my daughter. It's been an amazing couple of months with my new best friend. I know I sound like a bragging mother (and I am), but she is the best baby a person could hope for. It sounds odd considering my usually cynical outlook on things, but I'm wondering how I got so damn lucky.

My uncle summed it up best last night when he said, "You're one of the happiest mothers I've seen in a very long while." I am. I'm happy.

November 14, 2006

Who Knew Keeping a Blog Could Be So...PRODUCTIVE?

Okay, so I'm finally updating. It's been a month full of changes, so I'm sure you'll forgive me for my absence.

For starters, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on October 12, 2006. We named her Katelyn and we're so happy to have her. The birth was quite an ordeal, though. I was in labor for about 24 hours, had an epidural that didn't work, had a spinal that made me crazy, dilated ten centimeters, pushed for 3 hours, then finally had an emergency C-section because the baby was too big and coming down crooked. After all my efforts, the doctors had to push the baby BACK UP for the C-section, causing her to have a bowel movement in utero, which is dangerous. So she was wisked to the NICU right after she was born and stayed there for four days as a precaution. It was a weird time because I only held her for a few minutes total during those days. She is very healthy now, but it was an arduous time and my recovery was very difficult. I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder from the ordeal and I am just starting to feel like myself again.

My beautiful daughter was certainly worth it, although birth control pills will be in my future. I never thought I would say that. Funny how infertility works, isn't it?

Dan finally told the Jehovoh's Witnesses not to come to our house again. They listened...for two days. The quest for peace continues.

In other news, my in-laws accused us of trying to keep Katelyn from them because Dan told them one time that they couldn't come to visit. More interestingly, I actually have this blog to thank for getting them out of my hair, at least for the time being. After Dan's mother and I had a somewhat heated (at least lukewarm) discussion about the messed up family situation, Dan's father wrote me an email asking me for the address to this site. I wouldn't give it to him and it was clearly a catch-22: he would either scour it looking for something I've said that could insult him if I gave him the address or assume there was things on it I didn't want him to see if I didn't give him the address. So since I didn't, he assumed that I was writing horrible things about them on here. He said that Dan must agree with those "things," even though Dan has never even been to this blog! His father ended the short confrontation with "Have a nice life!" before storming off to his truck and speeding away. I've never actually heard anyone say those words except for in a movie or afterschool special and I'm beginning to think I should start writing my sitcom or novel soon. I have enough drama for it. I'm not sure we've seen the last of the in-law bandits, but at least their getaway was clean.

So that was my month--a birth, the end of a relationship (perhaps), some grief, some joy. It's funny how you could summarize momentous, life-changing occasions into a few lousy paragraphs, isn't it? Yet I promise to write again, especially if it saves me from my in-laws.

Who knew keeping a blog could be so...PRODUCTIVE?

October 11, 2006

Oh, Due Date, Why Do You Tease?

I just got awakened from a nap by Jehovoh's Witnesses. That makes me angry. Of course, I don't know who I'm more angry with--the two teenage girls who were giggling rather comfortably on my front porch as I looked out the peephole; or my husband, who said, "Uh, sure, yeah," when they mentioned coming back sometime to discuss God. See, I just ignore them and let them stare at my closed door, but Dan answers the door and takes their religious bullshit literature. (His latest giddy idea is to have literature of his own on Darwin on hand that he could exchange with them.) He's too sweet to tell them to get lost and I always seem to be here by myself when they decide to come back. Of course, if I wasn't in my frog pajamas I would have answered the door and told them to leave and never come back while mumbling something about Devil Spawn. I am certainly not convert-able and I certainly don't want to talk religion with strangers on my front porch. Strangely, we seem to be on their list now because they only visit our house...I think they're being sent by the JW's across the street. They had a meeting last night (their weekly meetings are usually Thursday) and I imagine some sort of Hitler-ish bunker where my black-and-white picture, blown up to 200% with a caption that reads TARGET, sits on an easel as they discuss my religious possibilities. In my opinion, religion should always be private. Then again, I have better things to do than to knock on doors and talk about God. Better things like..nap. And eat Doritos. And wait for my baby to be born.

Speaking of which, today is my due date. The only joke I could come up with involved Bobby Brown and his child payments being due--both are late and it's easy to doubt they will ever come--but I figured it was too stupid to write on here. So now I just wait. The most annoying part is people calling to see if I had the baby yet. Luckily, they have only called Dan or my mom, but I keep thinking how f'ed up that is to think we would FORGET to call with that kind of news. Could I possibly overlook the birth of my long-awaited child? Would Dan talk to his grandmother and be like, "I know I'm forgetting to tell you somet...oh! Two weeks ago Kelly gave birth!"

I must need a nap. Or Doritos. Or to give birth.